Well, sweet friend, we’ve reached the part of this magical webpage that could totally risk sounding ultra-crusty:

Like, I could say “I have a masters degree in education and over a decade of educational experience.”

Or “I’m thrice-certified as a coaching practitioner, master coaching practitioner, and coaching trainer— including direct certifications in neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis, life + success coaching, and emotional freedom techniques by Yes Supply, an accredited affiliate of the International Coaching Federation and the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners”—

But then we’d all feel our collective creative jelly shrivel like expired beef jerky— when we could all be hearing THIS instead:

I’m a COMPLETE flamingo when it comes to believing in the inner magic and possibilities of my clients—

🦩 I’m brightly effusive, keenly observant, gently poised, and totally dedicated to repping a refreshing smoothie of serenity, joy, and whimsy!

🦩 Which means you get my top-notch enthusiasm, deep insight, peaceful transformation, and a giggle or eight during the process 🤩🎉

In addition to my finely feathered personality, teaching + coaching are totally my jam!

(Although I did say we all have creative jelly just now, didn’t I? The jam-jelly war continues! Toast everywhere rejoices! English muffins have clearly picked sides! Jars of honey paint supportive signs on the sidelines!)

When I’m teaching self-peace, or coaching sweet humans through deeply reconnecting to their self-intimacy, or running self-love workshops, I’m in my ultimate happy place— which means you’re getting me in the pink of delight!— A tell-tale sign of the goodness we’ll create together:

🖖🏻 Deeply understood processes and/or curriculum

🖖🏽 Cleanly + sweetly facilitated emotional alchemy

🖖🏾 Gently held space for your vulnerability

🖖🏿 And all-star enthusiasm for your biggest, juiciest dreams and your sweet inner magic! 💛😍🔮🍑💃🏻

And the paperback-beach-read story of my life is one of fierce emotional bravery and sunshine-after-the-rain devotion to self-love—

I’ve experienced emotional and physical abuse at the hands of… well, I can’t really call him a lover (he didn’t particularly love my radiant shimmer and he literally tried be the bushel basket that This Little Light of Mine warned us all about 👀).

So it’s been an uphill trudge, but I’ve healed the lion’s share of my past trauma, deeply reconnected with my Self, and am JAZZED to help others do the same—

Whether you’re burnt out from working 987 hour work weeks (been there!), or simply tired of listening to the voices in your head call you an evil cow person because your self-worth has been chip-chip-chipped away over time, over time, and over time again—

My particular expertise is in helping YOU to deeply love your WHOLE self and reconnect to the sultry forest of your YOU-ness! 😍 (No matter how far away it seems, or how disconnected you feel from your truest self, my love).

And we do this together by practicing peaceful approaches to self-conflict and radiant reconnection to your body + mind + soul.

Because when YOU love + empower your connection to your own intuition—

the sweet playground of your heart—

the potent swamp witch of your sultry inner magic—

then YOU, my darling sweet friend, have ENDLESS FREAKIN’ POSSIBILITIES 😍😍😍