Hello, sweet friend!
Heck, do I have some real-life confidence lessons for you! 🤩
Ever since I was young, I’ve been fascinated by women who seem effortlessly kind, charismatic, and unapologetically themselves. Hermione Granger, my 5th grade teacher Miss Graeve, and basically every female character that Tamora Pierce has ever dreamed up.
As I’ve grown, I’ve found other examples of confidence that highlight people’s success and growth. Like Emma Watson (who’s chic and confident even when she’s not Hermione), Michelle Obama, and my ultra-girl-next-door friend Brooke. And one of my favorite examples of How to Be Confident is how Jonathan on Queer Eye finally learned how to figure skate (and he does it so dang well!)
And while it’s not likely that we’ll all run out and learn to do a toe loop and a waltz jump, it IS important to marinate on the fact that learning something new and a little exciting— is something we’re all capable of, if we’re dedicated to practicing.
There are so many layers to uncovering your inner confidence, and the more you surround yourself with techniques you can practice and people who are also pushing themselves to be successful in their confidence, the more you’ll discover the inner confidence you’re truly capable of unlocking! 🤩
In the spirit of keeping confidence strategies close to heart, I thought it’d be fun to share 10 confidence lessons I’ve learned along the way. Each of these nuggets of confidence wisdom is a “shortcut” to your inner confidence if you look beneath the surface.
- The most confident ask the most questions. While arrogant people assume they know everything, truly confident people know that there are things they can clarify and learn from those around them. Embracing questions like “I”m not sure I understand— can you walk me through that?” and “How did you get to that answer?” can be enlightening and help you to grow.
- Avoid glorifying the hustle. Think about how darn hard we’re pushed to bring more complexity into our lives. Between the 100+ apps on our phones, $500 baby strollers, and every single Instagram post we see celebrating the #hustle that daily life has become, it’s hard to determine which complicated things actually bring us happiness or ease. And the way we’re pushed, riding the hot mess express, it’s not enough to hold tight to what your heart needs and say “I crave simplicity.” You have to actively fight for it. Make a list of things you won’t stress out about. Restructure your daily routines to honor and emphasize things that truly matter. Don’t let that #livethehustle lifestyle be your default setting, sweet friend 😅
- Carpe diem. You know, it’s so easy to see a new opportunity and think “one day I’ll do that!” And then you never do it. We’ve all been there and deep down the truth is easy to see: When you’re genuinely excited 🤩 about something, do it right then!
- Confidence & success. Confidence doesn’t always mean making the most money or securing the best opportunities for yourself. Buuut those are usually pretty predictable byproducts of confidence.
- Value taking action over consuming more. Done is better than perfect, and I’d always rather take action on ONE tactic I’ve read about instead of reading 1,000 strategies and never acting on any of them. ☑️
- Keep stepping up. At some point, sweet friend, you’ll outgrow the people you used to learn from. A mentor will instead become a close, wonderful friend— and that’s lovely. But until you replace them, you’ll feel stuck. Finding your next teachers/mentors to help you level up will be SO important. This uncomfy step can be one that many people miss. Some people may not have even realized they craved the teaching and mentorship they haven’t had since college or high school! It’s okay, you know now. Keep finding new teachers, sweet friend! Grow! 🌿
- Choose your media with intention. The media you consume shapes your energy, focus, choices, and mindset. What are you currently reading, watching, and scrolling through? When you visualize becoming your most ideal, confident self, what would you be reading, watching or scrolling through?
- It’s okay to be weird. If you’re reading this, you know you’re a little weird. You’re on the internet, reading tips on confidence, mindset, self-love, and self-care, and you’re totally loving it! 🤩 It’s okay, you’re in good company, sweet friend 🤓💛
- Celebrate even the little things. Quit selling yourself short! Celebrations are for more than just, like, birthdays. Allow your heart to feel proud of yourself for what you know is an accomplishment. Maybe you actually showed up to a friend’s dinner party on time or you remembered to buy Cuties for after your daughter’s soccer practice! 🎉🎉🎉
- Your biggest growth is ahead of you. When you frame your mindset and your choices around the knowledge that your best success is ahead of you, you open SO MANY doors for yourself. Invest in your growth, your journey and your potential, sweet friend!
Real success and real confidence isn’t luck— it isn’t random. It’s the product of really, truly wanting it, and dedicating yourself to practicing it. The most successful, confident people dedicate themselves to being the best versions of themselves that they can be!
Isn’t that inspiring?
Heck yes!
I created How to Be Confident to streamline allll of these strategies to help you take control of your confidence— to become happier and more at home in your own heart.
When you do, my kind-hearted friend, you’ll start walking the (often-hidden) path to unlocking your true inner confidence.
You’ll uncover:
- How to develop your inner power and control— the #1 thing that will guide your confidence journey
- How to grow respect and love for your body
- How to stop drowning in a flood of negative thoughts and self-talk
And so much more!
It took me years of work, research, and a heck of a lot of trial-and-error to truly cultivate a curriculum that can teach 💛YOU💛 how to practice and develop these skills that will allow you to truly unlock your inner confidence!
Love, good cheer, and caramel latte vibes from my corner of the internet to yours,
P.S. Want to keep this lovely, positivity going? Heck yes! Take your Self-Love Quiz to find the perfect self-love mantra for YOU!
Meet Your Self-Love + Confidence Coach, Kayla Vavra!
I founded Brave Heart Open Mind, this enthusiastic self-love development studio, in an effort to empower women with the ability to live their happiest, most confident lives!
Because I’ve walked the path of feeling like I wasn’t good enough— drowning in self-doubt and self-hate— and it genuinely straight up sucks. (It does, for real. If you’ve been there— ugly-crying on cold floral linoleum— you know it’s true).
Part of the entire existence of Brave Heart Open Mind is to allow me to help you get to where I am— in a place of self-love; in a place of consistent confidence; in a place of self-empowerment! And to help you get there faster than I did. 😅🤩
It took me over a decade to get to where I am today.
From my own rock bottom— sitting at the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, fully depressed, with imbalanced hormones, halfway through college, unable to do anything other than barely hang on and pretend I was fine, (when really my self-image was a total dumpster fire on the inside). There were real moments of sobbing-on-the-floor feelings of wretchedness, catatonic-in-bed feelings of hopelessness, and hiding-blades-from-myself urges of self-harm during this time.
Medication to balance my hormones helped regulate my brain chemistry to smooth back the depression and darkness, but I was still left with a completely trashed self-image. I wanted to love myself, and it took me over a decade to figure out how to actually make that happen.
My personal journey over the course of that decade has thankfully brought me all the way to where I am now: the founder of an amazing and fulfilling business, totally loving my life!
And if I can help you skip the trudging, slow-as-heck, mountain climb out of the trenches of self-doubt and self-hate, and streamline a decade for you— like, that’s amazing! Why wouldn’t I help you? How could I not??
And through painstakingly building positive lifelong habits for myself, I’ve paved a new path: One where I consistently push myself to grow, feel good enough, and live in a place of calm, centered confidence.
And these habits aren’t magic— anyone can learn them! Everyone deserves to learn them. They’re rooted in solid verbal communication skills, body language tactics, and powerful mindset shifts. Meshing these three skillsets together creates a powerful range of habits that can make any lovely human feel confident! All you have to do is learn them and consistently work hard to practice them throughout your life. When you’re ready to commit to yourself, when you’re ready to finally let yourself feel good enough, when you’re ready to live a life of confidence, I can help you learn and practice these habits! You’re worth it 😀 (You SO are!)
I’m also a total scifi nerd 🤓
I can’t wait for us to work together! Seriously, we’ll be a force to be reckoned with! You’ll learn such powerful new habits, and you’ll feel so much power in the confidence that you’ve unlocked! Heck yes!!
In other nerdy news, you should also know that I’m a total geek and an avid life-long learner: I am certified to teach public speaking (and more!) with a Bachelors Degree in Mass Communication & Journalism and a Masters Degree in Education by the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I am certified as a Life & Success Coach, Hypnotherapist, and NLP, EFT, and TIME Practitioner by the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners. I’m currently pursuing my certification as a Master Practitioner by the IBCP, as well as my certification in The Science of Well-Being by Yale University 🤓