There is a sweary little quote that inspired the HECK out of me this week:

“Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve!”

This is the battle cry of internet entrepreneur, creative writer, and rad-as-heck advocate for women, Ash Ambirge. And she’s 100% in your corner when you’re ready to cliff dive into reclaiming your life and pushing the boundaries of what most people would say you should do to be successful! 

Not sure you feel ready for that jump? Ash has that covered too— she’ll tell you that truly finding happiness requires change, you’ll never really feel ready, (who does?), and that you’re unequivocally allowed to want more, earn more, and be more than you are right now.

She’s the exact kick in the tuchus 🍑 that you need to reconsider the ways that you’ve been selling yourself short, and (lucky you! 🤩) she just released a new book that is legit one of my favorite reads of my adult life.

For real— it’s SUCH a good book. I laughed, I teared up, I felt inspiration strike my heart and paused halfway through reading it to go organize a 🎉 new event for YOU & ME (details Monday!)

AND (also lucky you!) I JUST interviewed Ash over the miraculous internet to get the scoop for you on her new book, her philosophy on totally unlocking your confidence, and her wisdom on embracing the inner truth of who you are. READ ON 🤩

How do you think women can find and grow their own inner confidence?

By doing the exact thing that makes you feel unconfident. There are lots of things I’ve been unconfident about, but have done anyway (sometimes after a little self-imposed forcing), because I know that once I do them, I will be so glad I did. Knowing that is enough motivation.

And then every time you do something you didn’t want to, but are glad you did, it starts to build that muscle. Next thing you know, you feel like you’re atrophying when you’re not doing anything that scares you.

What do you do to boost your confidence when you feel like it’s taken a hit?

I go and do something I know I’m f*cking fantastic at. I create. I make something original. I double down on my strengths. And by the time I’m done, I feel like I’ve just gotten a power up. Always trust your own voice and know what you’re good at. Then, go be it.

What’s your philosophy on the idea that pushing yourself through uncomfortable experiences can really help you to flourish?

I come from a trailer park in rural Pennsylvania with a mom who had severe clinical social anxiety and hardly ever left the house. I never really saw “work” modeled for me. She died right as I turned twenty-one, so I sold our trailer and all of the things inside and took off for the city of Philadelphia on this grand mission to figure out how to become “normal.” All I wanted was some lemon pepper chicken and some poppy seed bagels! Those were things middle class families ate. I was absolutely on a mission to start “The Middle Class Project,” as it were. So you can imagine how upsetting it was when, after several years of being “normal” and filling my Target shopping cart to the brim, I discovered that normal was the most disappointing thing that ever happened to me.

And more importantly, none of my early success had happened because I was normal: it happened because the ideas I had were not. Being an original with stories and ideas and empathy and curiosity was my greatest secret weapon… When you put yourself in a new environment in which you aren’t sure what’s expected, or how to act, or what’s going to happen next, or whether or not you’ll be any good at it, it forces you into that creative mode whether you like it or not. You’re naturally going to be more open, curious, interested and alert, and you’re naturally going to end up discovering yourself to be far more capable than you ever thought you were. Desperation, in particular, is an excellent friend—they’re the only one who will tell you exactly who you are, once you arrive.

Having a growth mindset can be so exciting and lead to new opportunities and accomplishments! How would you describe your own mindset? 

Chronic boredom doesn’t come from not having anything to do: it comes from doing the wrong things.

And yet, so many of us are chronically bored with our lives.

And yet, so many of us keep doing the same things we’ve always done, expecting to one day wake up and have it go away or be better. If you haven’t done 100 new things this year, you have missed 100 new opportunities to be happy.

Where do you find your own inspiration to push yourself to learn new skills or take on new experiences?

I travel the way most people breathe. There’s no better inspiration than placing yourself in an environment where everything around you is new; novel; fresh; invigorating. You naturally want to engage with the world. You want to meet people; learn from them; know them; experience them. It’s much easier to do new things in a place where everything is new.

How can your new book help the fabulous humans who are ready to boost their self-confidence?

The highest compliment readers give me, consistently, is that my voice gives them theirs. It’s an irreverent book. It’s an unapologetic book. It’s an honest book. It’s an “get the f*ck up, you can do this” book. Reading this is like giving your confidence a shot of whiskey. Not because I am so great, but because there’s magic in showing up and being who you are—and we need other people to give us permission to be who we are. That’s my highest hope for this book.

Check out the HYPE:

🤯🤩 Want in on allllll of Ash’s wisdom? Grab the book here! (This is not an affiliate link or anything. I’m just an honest-to-goodness fan!)

💪🔥 Want more ways to kick your inner Impostor Syndrome to the curb?

• Check out my Guide to Positive Self-Talk— the ultimate guide you need to realign your mindset to embrace your inner confidence!
• Take the Confidence Quiz to find out your inner confidence style! (Plus find out how to start using your inner confidence right away!)

Love, good cheer, and steamin’ hot coffee vibes from my corner of the internet to yours,

Kayla Vavra

P.S. If you get The Middle Finger Project and 🤩 LOVE it as freakin’ much as I do, drop me a dm on Instagram or to my email! I’d totally love to geek out with you! 🤓

P.P.S. Want to keep this lovely, positivity going? Heck yes! Take your Self-Love Quiz to find the perfect self-love mantra for YOU!

Meet Your Self-Love + Confidence Coach, Kayla Vavra!

I founded Brave Heart Open Mind, this enthusiastic self-love development studio, in an effort to empower women with the ability to live their happiest, most confident lives!

Because I’ve walked the path of feeling like I wasn’t good enough— drowning in self-doubt and self-hate— and it genuinely straight up sucks. (It does, for real. If you’ve been there— ugly-crying on cold floral linoleum— you know it’s true).

Part of the entire existence of Brave Heart Open Mind is to allow me to help you get to where I am— in a place of self-love; in a place of consistent confidence; in a place of self-empowerment! And to help you get there faster than I did. 😅🤩

It took me over a decade to get to where I am today.

From my own rock bottom— sitting at the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, fully depressed, with imbalanced hormones, halfway through college, unable to do anything other than barely hang on and pretend I was fine, (when really my self-image was a total dumpster fire on the inside). There were real moments of sobbing-on-the-floor feelings of wretchedness, catatonic-in-bed feelings of hopelessness, and hiding-blades-from-myself urges of self-harm during this time.

Medication to balance my hormones helped regulate my brain chemistry to smooth back the depression and darkness, but I was still left with a completely trashed self-image. I wanted to love myself, and it took me over a decade to figure out how to actually make that happen.

My personal journey over the course of that decade has thankfully brought me all the way to where I am now: the founder of an amazing and fulfilling business, totally loving my life!

And if I can help you skip the trudging, slow-as-heck, mountain climb out of the trenches of self-doubt and self-hate, and streamline a decade for you— like, that’s amazing! Why wouldn’t I help you? How could I not??

And through painstakingly building positive lifelong habits for myself, I’ve paved a new path: One where I consistently push myself to grow, feel good enough, and live in a place of calm, centered confidence.

And these habits aren’t magic— anyone can learn them! Everyone deserves to learn them. They’re rooted in solid verbal communication skills, body language tactics, and powerful mindset shifts. Meshing these three skillsets together creates a powerful range of habits that can make any lovely human feel confident! All you have to do is learn them and consistently work hard to practice them throughout your life. When you’re ready to commit to yourself, when you’re ready to finally let yourself feel good enough, when you’re ready to live a life of confidence, I can help you learn and practice these habits! You’re worth it 😀 (You SO are!)

I’m also a total scifi nerd 🤓 

I can’t wait for us to work together! Seriously, we’ll be a force to be reckoned with! You’ll learn such powerful new habits, and you’ll feel so much power in the confidence that you’ve unlocked! Heck yes!!

In other nerdy news, you should also know that I’m a total geek and an avid life-long learner: I am certified to teach public speaking (and more!) with a Bachelors Degree in Mass Communication & Journalism and a Masters Degree in Education by the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I am certified as a Life & Success Coach, Hypnotherapist, and NLP, EFT, and TIME Practitioner by the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners. I’m currently pursuing my certification as a Master Practitioner by the IBCP, as well as my certification in The Science of Well-Being by Yale University 🤓