I know, I know, barrelling down the road, gripping the steering wheel, teeth barred like a maniac, is not how you’d picture me on your average Tuesday evening.
You’d probably like to think I’m more stable than that.
And I am, I swear! But you can often find me showing as many teeth as I can on my drive home because science says it’s a powerful tool.
(Yes, sweet friend, THIS is a powerful tool of science!):
Studies have shown that not only do humans smile when they feel good, but that smiling itself can actually impact our mood. Arranging our faces in a way that uses our smiling muscles legitimately bumps up our endorphins (the happy hormones!)
So if you’ve only got 5 minutes until your weekly department meeting starts, and you just know Gavin and Paulette are gonna put you in a bad mood for the rest of the day, spend 2-3 of your minutes smiling before the meeting.
And if Gavin lays on the passive aggressiveness pretty thick, maybe do it after the meeting too, because smiling is also proven to lower your heart rate and blood pressure.
Once you’ve got your endorphins shootin’ off party poppers all up in your beautiful brain space, the next way that you can take charge of your body language to promote confidence is to open up your heart-space (like they tell you to in yoga class, if you’re a dedicated yogi, or semi-yogi).
Opening up your heart-space means that you’re
1. relaxing your shoulders down (away from your ears)
2. aligning your spine so that your heart is more-or-less over your pelvis
and
3. pulling your shoulders back so that they’re not slumped
We store a LOT of tension in our shoulders at times, so making sure to relax them releases some of that tension.
Aligning your spine helps to prevent strain in your back muscles (especially if you get text-neck), and that extra lift in your chest space communicates confidence.
Similarly, pulling your shoulders back back from being slumped also communicates non-verbal openness and power.
When you focus on arranging your body from this:
To this:
You’re legitimately pushing away tension and oozing charisma, my friend 😉 <3
So your action steps today, babe, are to start using these quick tips:
When you’re upset, stressed out, feeling awkward or nervous: Smile. Smile like you’re a totally taunting Batman villain! And reap the endorphin rewards right away! On average, I’d say spend 2-3 minutes on your villain pageant smile 😀 Commutes home are excellent for doing this! (If you lead the stay-at-home or work-from-home life, try it when you’re in the bathroom 😉 )
ANNNND
When you’re feelin’ the need to impress or counteract some stress: Relax your shoulders down, align your spine, & pull your shoulders back. Let your heart-space open. Feel free to envision good vibes flowing from your heart to the universe and back again! (Hippie imagining not required). 😉
Sending smiles and some of those fab hippie vibes your way,
P.S. Send me your smiles!! For real! @ me on Insta or shoot me an email!
@kovavra * kayla@braveheartopenmind.com * #sciencesmiles
(The crazier the smile, the better!!!)
P.P.S. Want to keep this lovely, positivity going? Heck yes! Take your Self-Love Quiz to find the perfect self-love mantra for YOU!
Meet Your Self-Love + Confidence Coach, Kayla Vavra!
I founded Brave Heart Open Mind, this enthusiastic self-love development studio, in an effort to empower women with the ability to live their happiest, most confident lives!
Because I’ve walked the path of feeling like I wasn’t good enough— drowning in self-doubt and self-hate— and it genuinely straight up sucks. (It does, for real. If you’ve been there— ugly-crying on cold floral linoleum— you know it’s true).
Part of the entire existence of Brave Heart Open Mind is to allow me to help you get to where I am— in a place of self-love; in a place of consistent confidence; in a place of self-empowerment! And to help you get there faster than I did. 😅🤩
It took me over a decade to get to where I am today.
From my own rock bottom— sitting at the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, fully depressed, with imbalanced hormones, halfway through college, unable to do anything other than barely hang on and pretend I was fine, (when really my self-image was a total dumpster fire on the inside). There were real moments of sobbing-on-the-floor feelings of wretchedness, catatonic-in-bed feelings of hopelessness, and hiding-blades-from-myself urges of self-harm during this time.
Medication to balance my hormones helped regulate my brain chemistry to smooth back the depression and darkness, but I was still left with a completely trashed self-image. I wanted to love myself, and it took me over a decade to figure out how to actually make that happen.
My personal journey over the course of that decade has thankfully brought me all the way to where I am now: the founder of an amazing and fulfilling business, totally loving my life!
And if I can help you skip the trudging, slow-as-heck, mountain climb out of the trenches of self-doubt and self-hate, and streamline a decade for you— like, that’s amazing! Why wouldn’t I help you? How could I not??
And through painstakingly building positive lifelong habits for myself, I’ve paved a new path: One where I consistently push myself to grow, feel good enough, and live in a place of calm, centered confidence.
And these habits aren’t magic— anyone can learn them! Everyone deserves to learn them. They’re rooted in solid verbal communication skills, body language tactics, and powerful mindset shifts. Meshing these three skillsets together creates a powerful range of habits that can make any lovely human feel confident! All you have to do is learn them and consistently work hard to practice them throughout your life. When you’re ready to commit to yourself, when you’re ready to finally let yourself feel good enough, when you’re ready to live a life of confidence, I can help you learn and practice these habits! You’re worth it 😀 (You SO are!)
I’m also a total scifi nerd 🤓
I can’t wait for us to work together! Seriously, we’ll be a force to be reckoned with! You’ll learn such powerful new habits, and you’ll feel so much power in the confidence that you’ve unlocked! Heck yes!!
In other nerdy news, you should also know that I’m a total geek and an avid life-long learner: I am certified to teach public speaking (and more!) with a Bachelors Degree in Mass Communication & Journalism and a Masters Degree in Education by the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I am certified as a Life & Success Coach, Hypnotherapist, and NLP, EFT, and TIME Practitioner by the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners. I’m currently pursuing my certification as a Master Practitioner by the IBCP, as well as my certification in The Science of Well-Being by Yale University 🤓